I haven’t gone clubbing for.. more than 6 months. I already forgot what it felt like to wait in line to get in the club, watching girls dressing Forever 21 clothes and glittering makeups over their face and bodies, and to adjust my heartbeat to be in sync with the music. I was a bit worried that I would be too tense again like the last time.

But all was good.

I enjoyed the relaxation of dancing and simply shaking my body with the beats without worrying what a fool I might look like. I could act buzzed or drunk without alcohol, perfectly blending into the crowd. Nobody would think I am weird or crazy if I laugh loudly or start crying with streaks of black makeup on my face. It’s a place where girls dress so prettily and move their bodies so wildly and seductively to impress guys or simply as an expression of their bodies and emotions. Every face every body under the club lights and influence of alcohol become irresistably pretty or handsome; illusion of life. Some people could finally be themselves; the real people. Such contradition exists on the same packed dance floor. Nobody could tell if those laughters or tears are real; nobody cares in fact. Once the party is over, the people are back to “normal” the very next day, for work, for friends, for family, or their pets.

Those clubs are strange places. In a way they fascinate me. In another way I find it hard to believe how many guys are just there to get girls; I could never get that.