Skinny-dippers spark morality debate

I find it interesting that Chinese are evolving towards the European direction in terms of culture and morality standards, or the in acceptance of so for some. =)

I recalled Chinese people being extremely proud for being extreme conservative. My mom grew up in the era that if anybody saw a young girl with boobs so big that they bounced up and down while she was running, she would have been labeled as a slut already. Revealing the belly? No no. Revealing half of the breasts? She must be crazy. That was their era of youth…

It is difficult to imagine someone would not only believe, but actually act it, to touch the nature in the most natural way. Chinese believes and moralities are once again under a debate. Old conservative morals, or new European morals?

Character, then, isn’t what we think it is or, rather, what we want it to be. It isn’t a stable, easily identifiable set closely related traits, and it only seems that way because of a glitch in the way our brains are organized. Character is more like a bundle of habits and tendencies and interests, loosely bund together and dependent, at certain times, on circumstance and context. The reason that most of us seem to have a consistent character is that most of us are really good at controlling our environment. [(The Tipping Point, Macolm Gladwell, page 163)]

This explains it, why some friends have different “perspectives” of what my personality is.

China facing epidemic of suicide, depression

Ha! Not that I am wise or that I have 6th sense. But I knew this would happen.

Chinese people are born to be depressed. Girls are born to be depressed because there are still thousands of parents who cherish boys a lot more than girls. The guys are born to be depressed because they are spoiled, and never learn to grow up by living with their parents till they are 35. Students are depressed because of the suppressive education system and the teachers always believe grades are everything, for the future, the fame and the money. Working class people are depressed that they are underpaid for their jobs. Liberal students are depressed that there is no freedom of speech, no human rights in China. Business men and government officials are depressed because they are so afraid of their scandals being revealed, and thus send their kids oversea to avoid any possible consequences/punishment.

With so many unhappy people living in a country where seeking psychological help symbolizes insanity to the general population, it is highly unlikely that anybody would be able to seek help, and openly discuss their problems with their friends or family. One by one, depression drives to insanity, or suicides.

It is, in fact, a social problem started years and years of ago by suppression and the struggle of traditional values and western culture/values. This evolution will only grow worse, if nothing is done, let it be government, family values, social expectations, self-awareness, or attitude to psychological problems.

I signed on Trillian as usual. Who is that I wish to see online or talk to? There is really nobody whom I can talk to at this hour online. The people that I can have normal conversations in a daily basis, are either already sleeping soundly, or just staying next door of mine, either watching dramas/movies or reading a good book. It is just an old habit to sign on, and see who is on… Hoping to see some unexpected names sign on, asking about how they have been…

It gets lonely at night sometimes, when I am not obsessive about something that can fully occupy my mind for hours and hours, night after night. It feels too peaceful when the night takes down all lights, and the insects start their own little musical performance. Everybody is sleeping in the house, lights off, while I am still wide awake, feeling the sense of peacefulness sink into my body, weighing my soul down, till I feel some extra pressure is upon my physical and inner body. Breathing becomes extra heavy as well. Is this, what tiredness feels like?

There’s a chinese saying that if you walk at night often enough, you will eventually bump into a ghost.

It simply means if you do something often enough, bad luck will eventually hit upon you some day.

I have too many computers. So now I have met my misfortune. One laptop’s battery died, completely, after it had numerous other nasty fights with me for the past few months. I was fed up with it, so I left it cold at a corner for two weeks. When I finally felt terrible about my irrational ignorance and attempted to make something up to it, it died on me!

I don’t want to repeat my complaint for the laptop. You can look it up from fatwallet. Go ahead, search for tired member. That was me.

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Do I look ghostly to any of you? Anybody?

I went home last night, about to knock on my roommate’s door. I stopped at the hallway when I heard somebody was coming out from the bathroom. It was the roommate. Before I called her name, she screamed. Once, very shortly, not very high pitch. I was about to open my mouth, then she screamed, the second time, higher pitch, louder, longer, very audible. I was about to raise my hand, then she screamed, the third time, another short note. Her scream somehow sounded like a phrase from a song to me.

Am I that ghostly looking? Okay, it was dark. I did not turn on the light at the hallway. But nobody does that anyways. Alright, I was wearing a white jacket, had my hair down. But I always dress like that. I didn’t jump around or run at her. I just stood there quietly with a polite smile on my face in darkness, motionless. Because she already finished her screaming before I could move a finger!

Am I the one to blame to have scared her? She did not wear her glasses! HA!

I gave two bettas away in the past 2 weeks. I think I always get people hooked on betta, becoming as crazy about them as I am. Is it a good thing? Well, it proves that I am influential, or perhaps the bettas are very powerfully influential little animals. I can’t help but to fall in love with them, and now more people are becoming like me.

It is always a pleasure to watch them swim around and flare. One new betta daddy told me that his little fella swam into an underground filter through the opening and got trapped underneath. He was shocked of its magical disappearance when he heard some tiny noises. Luckily the filter was not running. He hurried to its rescue… Another time the new daddy asked me if the fish would be drown because it needed to get air from the surface, even in sleep. Isn’t it great to feel that you are responsible for another precious life? Every inch of growth (for betta that might mean one year of feeding) means so much all at a sudden.

It is time for me to stop my betta obsession now. I will continue to love my babies. I promise them that I will not give them away. But I will not buy more to give away. It is sad to part with them… =”( I will, however, be glad to help daddy and mommy to pick new babies and try to provide as much information as they want to know to keep their babies healthy and happy.

Butterfly, Snow White, and Dim Sum, mommy loves you guys.. Muah!