It takes a lot of understanding, patience, and compromise to stay in a relationship. Moreover, it takes a lot of faith.

Faith is something very vague. It’s intangible. Only you know it’s there or not; nobody else can tell for sure. You can lie to other people that you have faith in something, but you can’t fool yourself. When you always doubt about it, when you feel restless about the outcome, when you lack the confidence in yourself or the other person in the relationship… You know how it feels like.

I don’t know what to tell somebody how to have faith in themselves, or the other person, or their relationships; I cannot even do it myself.

To me, faith is a blind believe. When you choose to believe, you then have confidence in it, have faith in it, and will be able to trust it. But the question is, what exactly is the first step? You choose to believe and have faith first, or wait for proof first? It seems like the question of chicken and egg. I cannot solve it.

I don’t know if having faith in a relationship is the same as having faith in the other person. Somehow I cannot convince myself to have faith in me. I don’t think I can trust people very well. I don’t think I can trust myself in not hurting other people.

Yet by not having faith in me in the relationship, I am already hurting somebody, perhaps myself, too.