I was reading my friend’s blog. She posted some lyrics, mentioned how those words sounded like how she was feeling. I think she is in love, yet not in a love relationship.

I somewhat feel sad for her. Yet who, could have easy relationships? Some relationships are more difficult than others. Some are sweeter, some more bitter and sour. Some make people smile; some make people cry. Even in the same relationship, there are up and down times. I’ve been there. I’ve had great and bad times. I smiled, laughed, cried, stressed, felt lonely, numb… Now life is more at peace when I am not emotionally devoted to anybody.

Is it selfish to not love another person when that person loves you? Is it a crime? Is it a sin, a guilt? Is it guilty to love somebody who does not love you back? Or emotions do not carry guilt, only actions do… Criminals are punished for their actions, not their thoughts. Does it mean that we are free to feel and to love? Why loving and not loving involve guilty feelings, then…

Babbling… I keep it on… Babbling alone, after midnight…

Thoughts surround me everywhere. I am tired, but they will not let go of me.

I wish I could feel how my friend feels right now. I wish I could be love sick. I wish I could love somebody now, yet I start to doubt my ability on it…